Short, weak, bird-chested kids that weren't any good at sports and got picked on.
Or short, weak, bird-chested adults that weren't any good at sports and got picked on, that were unemployed high-school drop-outs that still lived with their mothers.
At least that's what the advertisers seemed to think, based on the kind of advertisements you'd find in your average comic book.
Ads for skin creams, body-building programs, get your high-school diploma through the mail, martial arts training programs, gum, candy, snack cakes, breakfast cereals and Saturday morning cartoons.
Sometimes the advertisers would go in the other direction and assume that kids are kids are kids like they always were and will be.
Little Tom Sawyers and Huckleberry Finns who would like nothing better than spending the day barefoot, with an air rifle, swinging a dead cat around their heads.
Example 1:
There were ads for basketballs and baseballs and soccer merchandise, bicycles and skateboards, and fishing gear.
In just about every issue of The Uncanny X-Men from #1 through #100 there was an ad for "3 Complete Fishing Outfits" a stunning 144 pcs.
Seriously, when I noticed and started putting the ads in their own folder, I ended up with about a hundred almost identical ads.
I don't know about you, but any day spent reading comic books was better than a day spent fishing.
The last thing I need is to spend my day providing my uncle an excuse to slow kill the 24 rack of domestic beer he always needs to bring along in his big red and white cooler.
But for those of you so inclined, Marvel Comics had you covered.
In just about every issue of The Uncanny X-Men from #1 through #100 there was an ad for "3 Complete Fishing Outfits" a stunning 144 pcs.
Seriously, when I noticed and started putting the ads in their own folder, I ended up with about a hundred almost identical ads.
I don't know about you, but any day spent reading comic books was better than a day spent fishing.
The last thing I need is to spend my day providing my uncle an excuse to slow kill the 24 rack of domestic beer he always needs to bring along in his big red and white cooler.
But for those of you so inclined, Marvel Comics had you covered.
And just in case you weren't convinced, here's a picture of Spider-Man fishing with on a bridge with a couple kids. And look! He already caught a fish! What a fucking show-off!
And if that's not enough, here's a picture of Spider-Man and Santa Claus. The fistful of money is what Santa probably had to pay to license Spider-Man to appear in the ad. Everyone's favorite neighborhood Spider-Whore doesn't endorse any old thing. Actually, he does, as long as you have the cash.
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